Breakups, Break Downs, and Breakthroughs
Cue: Ugly Kim Kardashian crying meme. Surely you recognize the quintessential face of the post-breakup for most of us. Break ups can feel like the end of the world, like nothing will ever be the same. And it likely won't be, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think the word for breakup is appropriately broken down to Break UP. In the aftermath of a break up, things sure do get broken (the relationship, your heart...), but it's also an opportunity for a set-up, move-up, level-up for what's next in our lives (better, greater things).
If the relationship didn't work, whatever the reason, it wasn't meant to be and if dealt with in a healthy and loving way, it can help us find wholeness in ourselves before the relationship that was really meant for us.
It was a young relationship that felt grown-up and forever, as I imagine they often do in your early twenties. It was a long distance relationship which heightened the commitment, and we both dutifully took it seriously. When it ended, even on amicable and mutual terms, it was devastating, especially because we still cared about each other.
It was important to me that it was a clean break. I had already done all the analyzing and going through the reasons why this was the right decision and we had already talked about everything that we had to. I knew in my heart that continuing to talk to or see each other with all the same facts before us, wouldn't be productive and would do more damage than good to my already broken heart.
The breakup created a strange mix of an abrupt change in my daily routine and the continuation of my daily responsibilities. In the months that followed, I began the journey of sorting the pieces of my life back together. It was often confusing and painful, but I discovered a deep sense of self-worth and inner resilience that anchored me. That anchor carried me through the period after the break up and it helped me do what was best for me and my healing, no matter how painful the process was.
My heart was broken into what felt like a million pieces, but God somehow put each piece back together again into something beautiful that I'm still discovering and unearthing.
It took some time to realize that my identity and worth had been tightly wrapped up in the relationship and the way it made me feel. In the years since then, I have had the time and space to reclaim my sense of worth entirely on my own. To feel full, whole and enough, confident in my own skin, and filled with gratitude and awe that I found a way through the pain that was overflowing with grace.
It is a breakthrough to have the courage to take pride in that journey and season of my life and dare to share it.
Our experiences of heartbreak, loss, and despair are not the end of our stories. The opportunities of discovering the best parts of ourselves - our passions, strengths, and resilience - however well-disguised, are worth fighting for. Breakthrough is waiting for us.