The Risk of Friendship and Loving Yourself
There was a period during college when everything on the outside seemed like it was running smoothly. I was staying on top of my coursework, I was involved in plenty of extracurricular activities, and had a wide circle of people I socialized with. Even with all the people I was constantly surrounded by, I felt alone.
The people who knew me the best were my friends from high school, but when those friendships came crashing down, I no longer had people in my life that understood me and supported me in a way only a true friend can. The circumstances of how the friendships ended only made it more heartbreaking for me.
Ever since I could remember in our years of friendship, one friend in the group treated me terribly, but I didn’t realize the extent of the toxic relationship and overlooked it at the time. It was only until college when my other friends in the group, including my best friend, finally expressed to me that my friend did not treat me well and constantly talked behind my back and that I should not continue to be her friend.
What I did not expect was that my best friend who had just apologized for not intervening sooner would take my friend’s side and tell me she could not be my friend anymore. The most meaningful relationships in my life had ended abruptly, and I was left alone to make sense of the rubble and my place in the world. This, in many ways, shattered my understanding of friendship.
Despite this experience of deep rejection, during the years since then, I have against all odds become a woman who has learned to love herself, knows her worth, and is passionate about encouraging others to own their unique journeys as well.
THIS is the bigger story, and why I am so passionate in writing this blog.
I believe to know this part of my story is important to understand my perspective as a reader - I understand how the relationships in our lives shape us and have the ability to disappoint us. But I also know that we have the ability to heal and overcome.
To anybody who has lost a friendship or has had a close relationship in their life, will understand how rejection can leave a heart tender, even broken. It’s so easy to let our past and how we have been treated by others to define us and determine our worth. But thankfully, God loves us way too much for that to be the end of our story. I believe there is beauty in broken places, even if I have to remind myself of that more often than not.
"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."
I know you have stories of brokenness, and restoration and redemption too. How we move forward after experiencing hurt and rejection can profoundly impact who we are and how we relate to others. I want you to deeply know, that even in the midst of these experiences, you are good enough and loved.
There have been many other stories of resilience and triumph in my life that I will hopefully share with you throughout my blog, and I hope they encourage you and build you up. I have faith that they will. I hope you join me on the journey of this blog of sharing with you how grace is enough. And how when you put your life in the hands of something much greater than yourself, you find yourself safer and in better hands than you could imagine. For me, I would not be where I am without a profoundly loving God, who reminded me of my worth when I couldn't see it for myself. I know what you are capable of and the beauty of who you are, and it would be such a waste for you not to realize it. I share my story on here, for the chance that you will shine through as well.
I am so excited for you, my beloved readers, to know your worth and to live a life that flows from the depths of your heart.
Let us spur each other on, to look forward and not look back.